Empty-handed Doesn't Always Mean Empty
I've been too pessimistic and too optimistic about my life at certain indefinite points. Which probably paints the picture what sort of a wreck, and what sort of a perfectionist I can be.
Technically, call it contradictory. Or inconsistent. It all depends how you look at life as well.
The glass is half-empty...or the glass is half-full. It's not quite enough, or I'll just get some more later. Some people are stupid. Some people have not just had enough education. Some people are poor, or they're just out of luck.
I've been trying to be fair with everything... trying to look at things with a different perspective everytime. And it proved to be even more fatal than just having a small mind, or an unwavering belief in something to a fault. I looked at things based on how I thought it was proper to look at it, one point after another...but forgetting to weigh things out in the end and balancing the whole thing. What happens is that I end up with a wishy-washy mind, with nothing but doubt, fear, regret.
In simple terms, I have nothing but bullshit. Or even simpler still, I just have nothing.
I've often looked at what I didn't have instead of looking at what I had. But more recently...I've had the feeling of being empty-handed, yet feeling blessed. How does being empty-handed give you satisfaction? How does having technically no material possession make a mortal feel blessed... one born of impoverished dignity where families technically teach their children that we have nothing to give you but your education... a mother who yearns to have everything to give to her child... a wife who yearns to make her husband's life easier and more satisfactory...a daughter who yearns nothing more than to give back to the parents who sacrificed sweat and blood through so many years? How does it actually happen?
It happens in faith. It happens in the heart...or so it seems.
I look at my daughter and I know I may not have everything to give her now...but we have her. And she is loved. How many children have died on the streets because there was no one to love them and care for them? I look at my mother and know that even if it makes her cry and suffer sometimes....working hard keeps her living. Working towards her goals makes her live everyday and never give up. I look at my husband and know deep in my heart that this will make him happy. I know that even if I cannot make things better and easier for him today, I can help him make that happen tomorrow. It all bases on how I deal with it today... how I wait patiently...how I trust him. If I do not make true my promise to stay with him through this commitment, our marriage in its true sense is a failure. Even if our hands are empty today...I must continue to hold him dear and hold him close for him not to feel that he is empty or that he has nothing.
It happens in faith. And it all happens if I believe that everything happens for a reason and a better purpose.
Even if I canot hold it in my own hands.
Technically, call it contradictory. Or inconsistent. It all depends how you look at life as well.
The glass is half-empty...or the glass is half-full. It's not quite enough, or I'll just get some more later. Some people are stupid. Some people have not just had enough education. Some people are poor, or they're just out of luck.
I've been trying to be fair with everything... trying to look at things with a different perspective everytime. And it proved to be even more fatal than just having a small mind, or an unwavering belief in something to a fault. I looked at things based on how I thought it was proper to look at it, one point after another...but forgetting to weigh things out in the end and balancing the whole thing. What happens is that I end up with a wishy-washy mind, with nothing but doubt, fear, regret.
In simple terms, I have nothing but bullshit. Or even simpler still, I just have nothing.
I've often looked at what I didn't have instead of looking at what I had. But more recently...I've had the feeling of being empty-handed, yet feeling blessed. How does being empty-handed give you satisfaction? How does having technically no material possession make a mortal feel blessed... one born of impoverished dignity where families technically teach their children that we have nothing to give you but your education... a mother who yearns to have everything to give to her child... a wife who yearns to make her husband's life easier and more satisfactory...a daughter who yearns nothing more than to give back to the parents who sacrificed sweat and blood through so many years? How does it actually happen?
It happens in faith. It happens in the heart...or so it seems.
I look at my daughter and I know I may not have everything to give her now...but we have her. And she is loved. How many children have died on the streets because there was no one to love them and care for them? I look at my mother and know that even if it makes her cry and suffer sometimes....working hard keeps her living. Working towards her goals makes her live everyday and never give up. I look at my husband and know deep in my heart that this will make him happy. I know that even if I cannot make things better and easier for him today, I can help him make that happen tomorrow. It all bases on how I deal with it today... how I wait patiently...how I trust him. If I do not make true my promise to stay with him through this commitment, our marriage in its true sense is a failure. Even if our hands are empty today...I must continue to hold him dear and hold him close for him not to feel that he is empty or that he has nothing.
It happens in faith. And it all happens if I believe that everything happens for a reason and a better purpose.
Even if I canot hold it in my own hands.
posted by Jaypee at 10:30 AM
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