The Story of "What If?"
I have an acquaintance from way back college years, and his name was Janus. He was my then boyfriend's good friend, and he inevitably became one of the people I would look forward to being with.
Years passed and I never came across Janus, if not for the occasional mentioning of his name. I lived my life...he lived his...me as a housewife, marrying my college sweetheart (Janus' friend)...and him as a law student. (But that's not what this story is about. I'm just giving you a little introduction so that you would appreciate Janus for his story)
Anyway, I saw Janus again after almost three years, and it was funny he should ask about married life. I guess a few beers really make a difference. Thus goes Janus' story...
Man#1( let's call him Paul) was going to get married to Woman#1(Jane). Woman#2(Patricia) was getting married to Man#2(Chris). Under the strangest circumstance, for some crazy weekend, Paul and Patricia met at the same hotel, and had a flirtation that led to a whirlwind romance.
Evidently, it wasn't just an affair, because both of them seriously considered cutting off both of their engagements, or eloping together. But they knew they had to do the "right thing", and broke up their affair to get married to their respective partners.
Paul's heart did not keep him quiet though. He thought about Patricia often, and the same thing went for her. One night, while the hotel's maintenance man was fixing the lightbulb in his room, he had opened up his dilemma, and asked the man what he thought he should do.
The maintenance man smiled and told Paul this : " I have been happily married for 20 twenty years to Rita, but there was never a day that passed that I thought 'What if...I had been married to Maria instead?' "
After that story, I had laughed at Janus' face. How true was that story anyway? How stupid was it that people actually married each other without really committing to loving each other? Do they just wake up one day and say "I wish I was married to someone else instead?" Is it actually really happening that people married for the wrong reasons, and marry not because of love?
I had laughed at Janus. But Janus... you make me bleed. You know you do.
Because somewhere out there...someone may be thinking I wish I was married to her instead. Somewhere out there, at some point or another...my husband may think he wasn't married to me, and wish instead to be married to someone else.
What has actually happened to love? What exactly has happened to marriage, commitment, and friendship?
The world has become a shore of crabs and its a matter of who gets on top first. The one who doesn't get trampled on, and succeeds on trampling on others is the one who wins.
And I guess it's the same thing with love. You want it? Slave over it. Nobody gets anything for nothing anymore nowadays. It's bitch and win or you become the loser.
I have let my What-Ifs die a long time ago. They resurface every now and then, and whether my husband likes it or not, we both have to admit it happens. Because I am not stupid, and so is he. What-Ifs are as real as marriage could get, specially with young marriages that start off with dizzy spells, racing heartbeats, and ever tingling funny bones. It just doesn't happen with real marriages, dear. As they say, some marriages are made in heaven but they all have to be worked out on earth. And both our what-ifs, if any, could only be used for the reality check.
Because I know deep in my heart, my husband loves me, and whether he entertains, or has entertained, the thought or not... I truly believe that what we had is incomparable. We probably only have to be mature enough to accept that marriages are meant to have system breakdowns, but they can be fixed. If only we give it enough time, it may even fix itself without too much effort. And that's a blessing indeed, because marriages require all the efforts you can give.
I may have to say sorry for not believing in Janus at the time, but I haven't forgotten his story. Which may mean, the story was put to good use.
Thank you, Janus...but I think Mr.Maintenance Man could have done better in your story. He could have loved his wife more...could have taken his commitment more seriously...could have become satisfied with what all that his wife had to give...and maybe he would not have what-ifs.
Those who dwell on what-ifs, the past, what was... eventually lose what they have now...and everything.
Years passed and I never came across Janus, if not for the occasional mentioning of his name. I lived my life...he lived his...me as a housewife, marrying my college sweetheart (Janus' friend)...and him as a law student. (But that's not what this story is about. I'm just giving you a little introduction so that you would appreciate Janus for his story)
Anyway, I saw Janus again after almost three years, and it was funny he should ask about married life. I guess a few beers really make a difference. Thus goes Janus' story...
Man#1( let's call him Paul) was going to get married to Woman#1(Jane). Woman#2(Patricia) was getting married to Man#2(Chris). Under the strangest circumstance, for some crazy weekend, Paul and Patricia met at the same hotel, and had a flirtation that led to a whirlwind romance.
Evidently, it wasn't just an affair, because both of them seriously considered cutting off both of their engagements, or eloping together. But they knew they had to do the "right thing", and broke up their affair to get married to their respective partners.
Paul's heart did not keep him quiet though. He thought about Patricia often, and the same thing went for her. One night, while the hotel's maintenance man was fixing the lightbulb in his room, he had opened up his dilemma, and asked the man what he thought he should do.
The maintenance man smiled and told Paul this : " I have been happily married for 20 twenty years to Rita, but there was never a day that passed that I thought 'What if...I had been married to Maria instead?' "
After that story, I had laughed at Janus' face. How true was that story anyway? How stupid was it that people actually married each other without really committing to loving each other? Do they just wake up one day and say "I wish I was married to someone else instead?" Is it actually really happening that people married for the wrong reasons, and marry not because of love?
I had laughed at Janus. But Janus... you make me bleed. You know you do.
Because somewhere out there...someone may be thinking I wish I was married to her instead. Somewhere out there, at some point or another...my husband may think he wasn't married to me, and wish instead to be married to someone else.
What has actually happened to love? What exactly has happened to marriage, commitment, and friendship?
The world has become a shore of crabs and its a matter of who gets on top first. The one who doesn't get trampled on, and succeeds on trampling on others is the one who wins.
And I guess it's the same thing with love. You want it? Slave over it. Nobody gets anything for nothing anymore nowadays. It's bitch and win or you become the loser.
I have let my What-Ifs die a long time ago. They resurface every now and then, and whether my husband likes it or not, we both have to admit it happens. Because I am not stupid, and so is he. What-Ifs are as real as marriage could get, specially with young marriages that start off with dizzy spells, racing heartbeats, and ever tingling funny bones. It just doesn't happen with real marriages, dear. As they say, some marriages are made in heaven but they all have to be worked out on earth. And both our what-ifs, if any, could only be used for the reality check.
Because I know deep in my heart, my husband loves me, and whether he entertains, or has entertained, the thought or not... I truly believe that what we had is incomparable. We probably only have to be mature enough to accept that marriages are meant to have system breakdowns, but they can be fixed. If only we give it enough time, it may even fix itself without too much effort. And that's a blessing indeed, because marriages require all the efforts you can give.
I may have to say sorry for not believing in Janus at the time, but I haven't forgotten his story. Which may mean, the story was put to good use.
Thank you, Janus...but I think Mr.Maintenance Man could have done better in your story. He could have loved his wife more...could have taken his commitment more seriously...could have become satisfied with what all that his wife had to give...and maybe he would not have what-ifs.
Those who dwell on what-ifs, the past, what was... eventually lose what they have now...and everything.
posted by Jaypee at 1:45 AM
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